Friday, May 28, 2010


I could have slept all day but Mom woke me around noon. I got ready for the day by throwing on a ball cap. It's still raining and there is no use to do anything with my hair.

I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned [it had been a while, a long while] and to have a check up.
Cavity free!
Ky came along as well, she has her first three cavities. I guess that's payback for the countless ones Abby and I had filled as little ones. She's nervous but I told her a filling no biggie and she even has the promise of a little laughing gas. If I could listen to those squealing drills at seven years old and not freak out, I am sure she will do the same.

I came home and played with Wags for a bit. I love our pup.
Tonight the Falke family had a few gatherings to attend. All but me [I had four loads of laundry to finish] went to Julia Godwin's graduation party. They made me feel guilty by telling me how much fun they had and how amazing the food and cake [made by Lisa] was.

We then went to our Stake Presidency's release party. It was great to see so many familiar faces. I love our church, each member is always cheery and loving.

Hardest part of the night was passing up the dessert table in all of it's chocolaty glory.
Mormons make the best treats, but I am staying strong with cutting out junk I don't need. After a month off this, which will be in a week and a half, I will let myself indulge once in a while but the satisfaction I get when I see those dropping numbers on my scale is worth much more to me than any fudge dipped brownie.

Once home I found myself reading Nie Nie's blog yet again. I love her!

Now for the reason this post is titled awful...
Around midnight Mom came into my room and told me she would tuck me in because it was getting late and tomorrow I have to wake up much earlier than I did today.
I got all feisty and said "I knowwww mommmmm".
She asked me if it was that time of month...
[this always makes me a little mad, even if it is that time]
Then I very rudely said, "stop nagging me about it, it's annoying"
Mom closed the door.

After about two minutes of bitterness, a flood tears started to roll down my cheeks.
Why do I treat the person who I love the most worse than someone I barely know?
I would have given anything in the world to have her tuck me in bed while I lived in London for four months or even tell me that it was late and I should think about getting to bed. I know I am an odd one who thrives on little to no sleep, but that is no excuse to speak unkindly.
I am sure my mom thought very lightly of my comments, kissed papa goodnight and dozed off into dreamland. I on the other hand did not and still have not.

Mom is my best friend and I can not remember the last time I went to bed with out telling her that I love her before tonight.
Hate going to bed feeling like this.
Stupid me.

Mom I know you will read this in the morning... I am so sorry and I love you so much.
On a lighter note... my short hair again fits into a euro chic mini bun on top of my head.
Which means it's time for a hair cut or else the part of me that dreads getting ready each day will take over and this... will become a daily hairstyle. It's alright for the gym and babysitting, but that's it.



Kristy said...

Oh sweetie...if we can't forgive one another for our little unkindnesses then we wouldn't be "family"! I am sure that there are many things that I say that require your forgiveness. So all is forgiven and I am sorry that I followed my tuck in comment with the question about it being "that time of the month." Thanks for apologizing for being short and know that I always love you and I do still want to "tuck you in" when you want. I will just keep checking in to see. I love you!

Anne Marie Hyer said...

This was sweet. First I thought it was passing the dessert table that was the reason for the 'aweful' title. (feelin' ya on that. Indian dessert consists of luke warm icecream and mushy cones or...I haven't found anything else). Then I kept reading. Hate those guilt feelings when we're angry. Guess that's why it's not how we're taught to be huh?! Love you. And thank you thank you for your post full of just "home." Told you I'd be counting on you and mom to comfort me while I'm gone. I loved every detail and could 'see' it in my mind. Especially the party for the stake presidency at the morris' home. Something about being surrounded by people in our stake just makes you feel like you.

MereMorphy said...

ohhh i know how that feeling is, i sometimes get this feeling come we treat the people we love the most, the worst? miss you up here mac, hope you are having so much fun at home! and i love reading your post.